Are You Truely Searching For Someone To Marry?
There are so many things that have been termed to be love, which are not. This is because each person is offering his or her own definition of love outside scriptures. On a day like Valentine’s Day, those who CHOOSE to be confused about the meaning of love and marriage seem to increase in number. This is actually the handwork of Satan but if you make a mistake in your choice, you will blame yourself because definitions are very clear when there is a sound mind and correct orientation.
For instance, most men have grown to believe that once you have enough money, you will automatically get a loving wife. If this is true, why do we have cases of wives of very wealthy men, shamelessly riding their expensive cars to shanties and roadsides to entice and commit adultery with wretched male peasants? Money cannot buy joy, satisfaction and fulfilment. Money only excites a lady momentarily. It only satisfies temporary hunger. At the point where you lavish money on a lady you have no clue about her background in terms of character, beliefs, philosophy, attitudes, home training, etc, she is naturally excited and gives you impression that you have become her god. If as a man, you lack genuine desired affection, attention, protection and emotional fulfilment to offer who you call a would-be spouse, you are deceiving yourself. When the temporary excitement about each bank alert you give her clears, you lose her in her heart and still assume you have her.
Please note that excitement towards money is not restricted to ladies as erroneously believed by many. Men who lack the spirit of Christ also get drunk with excitement when money jumps on them. That’s when he desires to commit fornication or adultery with just any lady that comes around. He forgets himself, gets drunk with alcohol and other products of such excitement. After, when the wastage reality emerges sometimes, havoc is already done. A girl is pregnant outside wedlock. The man is naked in public. Money is lost to fraudsters or something regrettable has happened.
Today, many guys and ladies that are old enough to get married have remained single because they are looking for someone who possesses qualities of a perfect man or woman. They fail to realize that they equally posses certain imperfections they think that others posses.
For instance, someone tells me that these days, people don’t marry for love but for money and so, they are searching for someone who would marry them for true love. Let me assume that the assertion about no more true love is true and it is coming from you. Let us now, examine you, who is making the assertion.
1st Corinthians 13:4-7 explains love. “Love is patient and kind. Love does not envy or boast. It is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way. It is not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice at wrong doing but rejoices with the truth. Loves bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
My dear, do you posses this quality? If you do not, you do not have a right to accuse any opposite sex of not possessing it. In other words, your search for a perfect guy or lady to marry is an act of self deception, selfishness because you are not perfect. You must be ready to give what you desire in a spouse before you begin to pray for a perfect spouse. Emphasis here is on readiness and willingness to offer what you desire. I have not come to actually offering it.
Are you truly searching for someone to marry? Good wife or husband does not come from spending all night searching the internet for strangers that may destroy your destiny. Good wife or husband does not most times, come from the internet. It surely, and at the right time, comes from above.
The number of friends you attract to yourself through the social media for instance, does not necessarily indicate how much you are loved by those friends. There are two categories of friends. Some friends are seasonal friends. This means that they are meant for a particular season. Just the way you outgrow your shoes or dress as you grow older, you can outgrow your seasonal friends. When this happens, you make new friends.
You are supposed to marry a permanent friend. This permanent friend is not perfect as a person, but has the qualities of a friend. So, your search for a permanent human being as your life partner is a futile search.
Do not get carried away by emotional sentiments, especially as a single person. Anybody that tells you he or she cannot live without you is lying because the person is not oxygen. It is only oxygen that nobody can live without, and it comes from God himself.
After wedding, two have become one. But before wedding, don’t get carried away by the talk of I can’t live without you. The person has lived for decades without even knowing you. Remember?
In searching for a spouse, you have to be real. Your dream spouse is perfect. Your reality spouse is imperfect. Perfection is a lie. Reality is true. If you really want to marry soon, look for Mr/Mrs Reality. Stop waiting for Mr/Mrs Perfect because perfection is a lie.
One of the vital information required before engaging in marital relationship for instance, has to do with difference in variables in behavioural patterns, even in areas of economics. No two individuals in this whole wide world are the same in everything.
Let us look at family economics for instance. If a man grew up in a home where his father did nothing but left his mother to shoulder all financial responsibilities of the family, the man is likely not to contribute a penny to the financial upkeep of his family when he gets married. You cannot accuse him of not loving his wife and family based on that character because he sees that lifestyle as a norm. If it was his father that shouldered all financial responsibilities when he was growing up, he is not likely to expect any financial contributions from his wife when he marries.
If it was a girl that grew up seeing her father shoulder every single financial responsibility, she is not likely to contribute anything financially to her family when she marries, even when her husband’s income is a peanut when compared to hers. Don’t accuse her of not loving her husband because she is doing what she believes is right. On the other hand, if it was her mother that shouldered financial responsibilities when she was growing up, she is likely to aspire and actually do the same thing. It is only education, positive social interactions, informal exposure to learning or change of orientation along the path of growing up that can make things happen differently.
These are some of the background checks that ought to be made during courtship. This is why I wonder whether those who get married without courtship actually understand the meaning and implications of marriage.
When two become one after wedding, it means each one has become half. It does not mean that one of the two has become zero. That is the perfection that you should seek in searching for a life partner. However, the only way you can get this is to have your premarital and marital relationship founded on Christ Jesus (1st Corinthians 3:11).
Comply strictly with the word of God. First, surrender your heart to Jesus to posses. Then, marry a believer. Likes attract likes. I am not talking about church goer or someone with spiritual title. Anybody can be called any title. I am talking about a born again Christian. Don’t tell me you are confused as to knowing the difference. The capacity to decipher the difference itself, is an evidence of your Christianity.
You will not marry the wrong person in Jesus name. Place an order for a copy of the book, MAKING YOUR MARRIAGE WORK by Albinus Chiedu. It will help you.
FOR QUESTIONS, PRAYERS, COUNSEL, CONTACT
Pastor Albinus Chiedu